Living with sensuality

I know there is a curiosity on the daily life of escorts and other adult industry workers. It’s part of the appeal of girl’s blogs. Does sexuality play a part in daily life? I can’t speak for anyone else,  just me. Maybe not sexuality, but sensuality does play a large part in my daily life. I do have a holistic approach to life, where everything melds together rather than compartmentalize.

 Like everything else in my life, the house itself is a giant art project. An older home with great bones, it is more than 60 years old (that’s old for Florida).  Cloaked by trees and lots of foliage, most people don’t realize there is a home on the property. It is my secret hidden jewel. Sadly, it can’t be rebuilt to it’s former glory. So it’s being modified to something more modern and artistic. Restoring this older home is a full time job in itself. I harbor this love/hate relationship with it. At times just wanting it done, and other times enjoying the process of researching, designing, and using uncommon building materials.

One example is the countertop in the kitchen. They are chocolate brown and made of concrete. They are sleek and regal to look at, yet cool and smooth as glass to the touch. A large delicate white orchid resides on the counter playing soft against hard, dark paired with light. I’m always wanting some sort of visual balance.

 It is only fitting that the objects within my home would be very sensual. Some are rather obvious, from the Klimt print above, to some nude sculpture. Others at first glance are more mundane, but to me very sensual. And most of it was done by artists I know, each sharing with me a little piece of themselves. When I did have time, I modeled nude for artist friends. And sometimes in trade, I get a drawing or painting of myself. (I guess there will be another blog on narcissism coming soon  LOL) 

The pear is another theme because to me it exudes a deep, understated sensuality and almost quiet allure. If I could be a fruit it would be a pear. Not only do I have paintings, but candles and trinkets in the shape of pears as well. A common symbol of femininity, fertility, and sensuality,  I find the voluptuous curve, or the coy blush on its rounded cheek appealing. Maybe it’s the firm, smooth flesh that feels nearly creamy against the tongue. You can’t fight the fact that the pear is a fruit that quietly demands your utter attention to its readiness; one day too early, and it’s not quite ready. Several hours too late, and the sweetest moment has passed.

The colors in the house were picked for their sensual nature. Calming and alluring, engaging yet peaceful. I’m very sensitive to color and it is one of my odd hobbies. As some people are good with numbers, I am good with color.

In some way, that I’m not quite sure, I even find escorting to be an artistic and creative endeavour. It’s part of the larger picture, where my life is a giant work of art, and each adventure is a different paint stroke on the canvas. Even a bad adventure would simply add a darker shadow tone to the canvas, making the better adventures and colors more vibrant.

 

Toy shopping for women

The other day I stopped into an adult store for some lotions and other fun items. There are not a lot of choices in town when it comes to adult stores, but the thing they have in common is that they are sleazy, dark, and uninviting.

 As soon as I walked in, I was followed around as if I was going to steal something. For every item I touched, the salesman (who was rather creepy) kept coming over trying to explain everything to me in a condescending way. Many items were up too high to inspect without the assistance of a salesperson.

 Women are touchers, and like to comparison shop. All the lotions were behind glass, with limited samples to smell the fragrances.

 I don’t understand why they don’t cater more to women.  Women control the purse strings in many households, but will not shop in an environment that perpetuates the myth that buying adult novelties is low class and shameful. The shops are not sex positive or sexually empowering.

 If you were walking down the street and ten women passed you, how many of those women do you think would shop in the typical adult store? Maybe 1? But 5 or 6 probably own at least a vibrator. They are buying them somewhere.

In many areas, sex toy parties are quite popular, but still not the perfect environment for women to purchase sex toys. Especially those women looking to explore this area for the first time. Being in an atmosphere of their friends and coworkers, they are unlikely to ask the pertinent questions, and if they do purchase, they will purchase extremely feminine, conservative items in order to keep up appearances.

Why not a more open and hospitable atmosphere? Taking out our current recession, people today have three times the discretionary income than they had 50 years ago. And still they feel no more satisfied with their lives. Many economic studies have shown the extra discretionary income is being spent on personal fulfillment, whether it be self help books, health clubs, religious fulfillment, etc. This is considered a long term trend with sexuality being another fulfillment that is being explored.

If stores wanted to tap into this open market, they need to create a more sex friendly and sensual environment. Imagine a store like Victoria’s Secret that offered a range of sensual novelties. If I never had owned a toy before I would not want to spend $85.00 on my first one. After all, what if I didn’t like it? How would I even know which one was right for me to buy?
 
Without being educated or helped along by a knowledgeable sales person, most women are likely to buy a cheap toy made with hard plastic and a motor with hardly any power to vibrate. Many women will buy a first toy base on price. They usually don’t look at it as an investment in their pleasure, but more as an appliance purchase, about as much fun as buying a new blender. Low end toys hurt and are uncomfortable and can be a complete turnoff to toys. Women use it, have a bad experience thinking they are not the type to enjoy sex toys, and never even considering the possibility it was the toy itself. They may never revisit the use of toys again for many years, if at all.

And not every toy do you fall in love with. There is a learning curve to what is pleasurable to any woman. Some women prefer outside stimulation, while others prefer internal stimulation. It is a trial and error process in the beginning, but a store with a knowledgeable female staff can help narrow down the range of choices.

What about a store with lingerie for everyday women, not just twenty-something girls but real MILFs with unpleasant areas to cover and and an ass that will not do well in a thong. Offering delectable gourmet chocolates, aromatherapy incense and adult games & books alongside nighties, sexy robes, shoes and dresses in a brightly lit, modern boutique design would attract everyday women. A friendly, knowledgeable mostly women staff with a sensual counselor a few times a week for expert advise would help make a woman feel very special.

 
 Anything you buy from there, even  a bottle of massage oil or a box of chocolate would be a luxurious shopping event. With that type of setup, women wouldn’t feel weird if a friend or neighbor saw them walk into the store or noticed their vehicle parked out front.

My site here will evolve into that vision. But it is now, and will be women friendly and sex positive.

If you stimulate their interest, they will soon be stimulating themselves.

 

Women and Body Image

My husband recently took a trip with a friend, and along their route they thought they would stop in and visit a few strip clubs. I know this isn’t one of his favorite activities, but it was a male bonding trip, so he went along. When he returned home, he commented that things had changed alot since his last visit to a strip club some ten years ago. The girls, he claimed, were slightly larger in size, many had little stomachs like we get after having a baby, and very few fake boobs.

 ”And how do you feel about that?”, I asked, already knowing the answer.

 ”It was cool, they were very sexy. They were  ……. real women”, he replied.

 Exactly. Sure there will always be men who are attracted to the twenty year old cheerleader type. But the majority of men outgrow that, and start becoming attracted to something else. Men begin looking for a connection, or some sort of sign that they can relate to a woman. The twenty year old girl might be fun to look at real quick, but they no longer can keep his attention. He has already had the drama of an immature relationship, maybe even with the younger version of ourselves,  and now wants to be comfortable. 

 There was a time when I was slightly insecure about my body, and signs of age. Then I realized that men did not notice the things I had been taught were horrible disfigurements of age and childbirth. And if they did notice them, they were an assurance that I had a series of life experiences behind me that they could relate to. They were comforting that I was real, not hiding behind a facade, and had traveled down many of the same life’s journeys as they had.They were an affirmation to them, and now I treat them as the same.

 

Lingerie For Real Women

I’ve always been a voluptuous & curvy girl. And have always felt sexy in my skin no matter what my weight was. One of my frustrations has always been the limited choices of sexy lingerie for regular sized women. It seems that most women’s lingerie is really only made for thin shapes or ladies without curves. Plus sized items are starting to be carried by some stores, but they are typically  plain and doughty. They look like they were thrown together from bulk fabrics that are ugly and uncomfortable. They also would not accent what I would say are the average girl’s best features. Sure guys might like a girl with a little extra in the butt,  but not with some dental floss in it. What they usually seem to be lacking is giving a woman something comfortable that hides some flaws, but makes her feel sexy.

Unfortunately, it can add up to give women the message that if they can’t fit into the thonged lingerie available at most stores, they can’t be sexy. That is the furthest thing from the truth. Being sexy has nothing to do with how a woman physically appears, but how she carries herself.

 

It’s great to see a company like Secrets in Lace produce stylish, sexy outfits that women made for real women. Not just plus sizes, but all sizes. Their updated tap pants are very sexy, feel great, and can cover those areas we don’t like to show. And yes, men find them sexy.

 

Being In Mommy Mode

Here’s a theme that seems to be come up alot. Women, kids, sexuality. Guys are more sensitive than they let on. And they feel, whether they admit it or not, that they are pushed to the side, especially sexually, when kids enter the picture. And not just babies, but even teens. As women, we enter “Mommy Mode”, where we are pulled in ten different directions, and have little people that are dependent on us for their physical and emotional needs. More than draining, it comes to a point where we are sacrificing more of ourselves than we think we can give. The most severe “Mommy Mode” lasts until the youngest kids are about 10. As they start to gain independence, we gain a little more time to ourselves. But we still retain a little guilt on using some time to pamper ourselves.

 That’s just how we are hard wired. Kids even come before the woman herself. And, on top of that, we are raised to have a certain expectation of how a Mom should act. And our husbands expecting us being a sexual tigress after changing diapers and running kids all over town are not very compatible. It’s not how a Mom is supposed to act.

 Being in Mommy mode, women don’t often  properly take care of themselves, and not just physically. They don’t have time to care for themselves, it’s a job that you have to work 24/7. There’s even a guilt factor in taking a simple pleasure like  a long bath.

 The only way it goes away is when the kids are old enough to be independent, and require less attention. Then, by default, a woman starts to realize how much she has neglected herself.  Many times, she doesn’t even realize she was in Mommy Mode. I think it’s part of the reason a woman doesn’t reach her sexual peak until her late thirties, early fourties. It’s nature’s way of keeping priorities.

 And yes, this is a time that men can deviate from the plan, looking for a way to explore, and not feel they are sitting on the sidelines. They usually look at porn online, and it goes no further. But let’s be honest here, some guys do go the steps further and look elsewhere for physical and emotional support. And the emotional support thing is the one that seems to hurt even more.

 Personally, I don’t think we should get our back up or jump off the deep end when we see our spouses online looking a naked pics of women. But we do need to learn to take better care of ourselves and add our spouses into the mix a little more.

 There’s no reason we can’t create a schedule and take a certain time to put ourselves first. We deserve it. Our mental and physical health needs a set break to take a nice nap, followed by a nice quiet bubble bath, and a few hours of being pampered by our mates.

And at first it seems rather gratuitous and selfish to send the kids off to the in-laws for a night, while you are home thinking about nothing but yourself. It’s even hard to enjoy it at first. And I’ll bet anything that once you do learn to relax, you fall asleep early! It’s just another sign of how much you needed the break. Enjoy it, and don’t treat it as a dissapointment or a waste of time. After a bit, you’ll find the routine with no TV, and no kids, to sit back and learn to enjoy a few hours of just talking and laughing with your spouse, talking about yourselves and not the kids or how many loads of laundry you need to still get done.

We need to reprogram ourselves, and understand that we can’t be our best for our kids or our spouses unless we take care of ourselves first.

 

Wee- Vibrator

we vibrator sex toys

I have to admit that I haven’t tried this product yet. But I gather I need one of these.

The Wee-Vibe is a vibrator that comes with its own docking charge station (no batteries!!), and it fits in such a way that you get both internal and external pleasure and can be worn during intercourse.

From what I have been hearing, it’s the next generation of toy. A few of my friends are toy junkies, and they all say that it is suprisingly comfortable, effective, and fun. And if you knew my friends, you wouldn’t need to know any more.

More info on Wee-Vibe here

 

Love Swing

love swing

The Love Swing

This happens to be one of my favorite toys. Once you get used to it, it is more comfortable than it looks, and the swinging motion means maximum pleasure with mimimum energy. And it’s comfortable enough that I sometimes watch TV in it.

Just owning a rather large toy like this is hot! Even your favorite positions take on a whole new level of pleasure. Some positions do take a little practice, and we have found that those goofy moments as we learned the in & outs of the love swing were almost as pleasureable as the actual sex itself.

Pete does enjoy the fact that he can move me in the swing with minimal effort, and take some positions that traditionally become physically tedious, and make them easier to sustain.

The only drawback is installing the large eyehook in the ceiling. It can seem a little unseamly if someone were to see it on your bedroom ceiling. To combat the strange looks of family and friends who find their way into my bedroom, I purchased a workout pullup bar at a garage sale, and tell them it is for my workout equipment.

More info here

 

About Rebecca’s Toy Store

Hi,

I’m Rebecca. Aside from being the typical surburban housewife and mother, I have another side of my personality and life. For the last 15 years, I have been a gentleman’s companion, a courtesan, and an escort.

And throughout my adventures, it is far and few between that I come across information and items for sale that are done in a sex postive way that allows women to feel comfortable exploring their sexuality. As women, we know what we would like to explore, but we don’t want that information iven to us in a way that makes us feel dirty or cheap.

 So I decided to do something about it, and have started my own adult store to give women and couples, as well as gentleman, a sex positve alternative to adult toys and exploration